Wishing every one of you a peaceful and humble end of 2017. May the new year be a year where we share more kindness, empathy and practice compassion for each other. -Wow, that sounded like a cliché. But I mean it 🙂
Today is vintersolverv, the shortest day of the year – the sun “turns” and it’s only one month left of the polar night.
For me, 2017 has been a year with so many ups and downs, I don’t even know where to start. But it has also been filled with much love, romance, friendship, good memories, creativity and I have learned a lot about what I want for myself – but not in a selfish way. I have just come more in touch with my own wishes for my life, and where I want to go from here.
Årets julekjole ble en kjapp re-design av en litt for stor nattkjole. Fant denne veldig lette og fint forklarte tutorialen på YouTube. Blir nok å lage mange flere slike off-shoulder-kjoler, de er jo så fine! Om du ønsker en selv, er det bare å sende en bestilling på kontaktsiden! 🙂
I’ve always valued close human interactions. As a kid I was pretty much hanging out with friends every day. Playing outside a lot, having sleepovers, going to cinema, doing shenanigans around the neighborhood.. Kid stuff, you know 🙂 I have been very lucky in that sense, always having friends and someone to turn to if needed. And I have always enjoyed being a friend: someone you can rely on and someone who listens. Being a friend feels meaningful. And if we can share silence too, even better!
As I have grown older, some friendships have either ended or we just don’t have much contact anymore. But when we do meet, it is as if we never parted. These kinds of friendships are very special, I think. Time can pass and your lives are hectic, and different paths have been chosen, but still the bond of friendship is there. Also, having long distance friendships allows you to send postcards – I love sending postcards!
Now that I am not a kid anymore – alas!, finding new friends have been kind of hard. Like, how do you find new friends as an adult? You can’t just ask like you could when you were 7. And the period of my life when I was bedridden did not exactly make it better. Being 21-22 and bedridden was like really, really wanting to go to a party, but not being allowed to. That feeling. Luckily, I feel better in my health and have been forcing myself to be more social the last year or so. Kind of catching up for the “time lost”. Because I do love being around people, it just takes a lot of energy sometimes. I have 3-4 people in my life now that I value so much, I don’t even have words for it. Some of these relationships are romantic also, some are pure friendships. I guess they are whatever feels right and natural. One of them is long distance romance, and even though this is hard sometimes (missing each other and not being able to visit often) – it feels worth it. He feels worth it. Another is a deep connection of love, friendship, spiritual companionship and almost a decade of time spent together, and sometimes apart. And one of them is such a fun and adventurous friendship, it’s never a dull moment.
Whether the relationships are platonic, romantic or whatever, I value all of them equally.
The last year has also been a journey for me finding out I am polyamorous. It was like finding out I am bisexual – which I did many years ago. Lots of failing/learning, back and forth and some hurt feelings for me to find this out, but now I feel like I can be myself 100% and that is pretty much one of the best feelings in the world.
“Friendship and romance are not ranks, tiers, or levels. They are not above or below each other. Romance is not a promotion. Friendship is not a demotion. Romance is not “more than” being friends with someone. Friendship and romance are concepts that exist on equal terms, side by side. Sometimes they happen to coincide. Other times they never intersect at all. How relationships are classified is only up to the individuals involved but neither is inherently more or less valuable than the other.” – Unknown